It's all part of the path.

Majesty, Chaos, and Confusion

“The Bodhisattva vow acknowledges confusion and chaos — aggression, passion, frustration, frivolousness — as part of the path. The path is like a busy, broad highway, complete with roadblocks, accidents, construction work, and police. It is quite terrifying. Nevertheless it is majestic, it is the great path. “From today onward until the attainment of enlightenment I am willing to live with my chaos and confusion as well as with that of all other sentient beings. I am willing to share our mutual confusion.” So no one is playing a one-upmanship game. The Bodhisattva is a very humble pilgrim who works in the soil of samsara to dig out the jewel embedded in it.” -Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche

The Bodhissatva is an interesting character in Buddhism. They are beings who put off their full enlightenment in order to help all sentient beings. They remain trapped within worldly existence - but there’s a difference. They have agreed, once and for all, to accept the chaos of daily life. They accept that there is no place to stand. Nothing physical to cling to, no concepts to grab hold of. Not longing for the past, or dreaming of the future - but trying to help people right here right now. One of my favourite quotes from Shunryu Suzuki is: “Treat every moment as your last. It is not preparation for something else.” The Bodhissatva knows this, deeply. They realize that the very act of resistance towards what is present is suffering. They also know this:

“ ‘Human nature is conceptual and the bird’s physical nature is full of tendons.’ We are prone to giving rise to negative emotions. Know this as your weakness. Practice patience.” - Pema Norbu Rinpoche

What is your next thought going to be? Impossible to tell. So why take it personally? It’s not about you. Your mind is secreting thoughts, just as your pancreas secretes insulin. Understand this and sit with your mind. Be a Bodhissatva - develop patience, virtue, and joy by working with the chaotic confusion of your existence.

It is as it is.